I'm depressed. More specifically I exhibit the symptoms of mono-polar mood disorder. I'm really interested in the way the world has changed since I went to the doctor and got treated for this.

The obvious thing that happens when someone is treated for depression is that they either get better or they don't. That's pretty interesting to me, but it isn't the only thing, because if once you experience a bought of depression you are significantly more likely to experience another episode sometime in your life. Depression is a chronic illness, like pancreatitis or maybe like diabetes. So I manage my depression, pretty much the way most people I know who have been diagnosed with the problem do. I take medication (Zoloft) and I try to live in mentally healthy ways.

As interesting as the depression is the way it has changed my view of the world. For one thing, I'm rather uncomfortable with the whole concept of being depressed so I talk about it. It's mildly embarrassing and it feels self-indulgent, since it is to some degree about what kind of mood I'm in--when I'm feeling depressed I'm cranky and sad and not much fun to be around and I should be able to just get myself together. The symptoms are vague and seem to be controllable by sheer force of will. Nobody can give me a blood test and say just what neurotransmitter I produce in greater or lesser quantities than I should. Of course, I really can't control it which is what drove me to seek treatment, and sometimes I want to blame my behavior on it--but not directly, of course, since I feel as if I should be in control of my behavior-- I have my doubts about talking about it. It seems utterly foolish to share intimate details about my life with people but I keep thinking that if it was insulin I was taking instead of anti-depressant medication I wouldn't think so much about it.

The funny thing about talking about it--lots of people around me are taking, or have taken, or are thinking maybe they should see their doctor about taking anti-depressant medication. I discover this when I say I'm taking it. Apparently enormous numbers of people are taking Prozac and Zoloft and Paxil

Being diagnosed with depression was one of the lowest points in my life. My mood and my self-esteem, already low to begin with, sunk even further. The writing was on the wall. No matter what I said, or did, I couldn’t avoid it; I have depression. Now i'm Dealing with it by taking one step at a time....

I want others who are sufering from Depression to come out and Talk about it. Know that you are not alone and that there are Others out there who are Dealing with the same thing that you are... Lets talk about it and Help each other, Lets get thought this together...